Monday, September 27, 2010

THE PAST IS A POWERFUL COUNTRY



Donnafugata Castle, Ragusa, Sicily

I reach out a hand to a computer image and I stroke the hair of the man in the picture, just as, long ago, I did in real life.  

This man hurt me a lot some years before I left for Sicily and not a word had passed between us since that time. He was not, it is important to say, the reason for my departure, nor did he hasten it.  But the void where his warmth used to be made me sadder when I left.


Caerphilly Castle, Wales
Of course I have thought of him during the ensuing years but I forbade myself the melancholy indulgence of looking at the photos and resisted the temptation to google him, thus saving myself further pain. And I worked at building a life here, a task which is never easy in another country, however much you love it.

I must admit that I did think he would contact me one day and, reader, I prepared the speech.  You'll know the one if you have ever been disappointed in love:  it kind of begins, "We have both moved on now" and ends, "It is better that way."  But as my sixtieth birthday came and went and I celebrated my fifth year in Sicily, I decided that I had been wrong and that my little old heart was safe.

And then, two weeks ago...... the contact.  The speech I made, reader, was not the one I had planned, for I searched my little old heart and was surprised by what I found there.  This speech was rather Italian in its directness and was much more succinct than the prepared one.  It went like this:

"Get on the bloody plane and come and love me!"

I fear I am lost, reader.  Watch this space!


17 comments:

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Dear WL .. I do hope that you are ok. Rather shocked by this post and how powerful it is.

I don't want you to have any more pain , so please be careful. Let me know what is going on , since we spoke last., Take care Anne

CherryPie said...

Crikey that was a bit of a bolt out of the blue.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Hi, Anne. I really appreciate your concern and thank you for being such a good friend. Will come and chat on fb. xx
It certainly was, Cherie!

Rowena... said...

You sure know how to unseat a gal when she least expects it.

I picked myself up, thank you.

Channeling only good things your way WL...take care!

lakeviewer said...

Oh? Something will change for sure!

Winchester whisperer said...

Buona fortuna WL - you deserve it!

Rachel Cotterill said...

Maybe the Italian spirit is seeping into your soul. In which case, he'd better watch out if he hurts you again!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Sorry, Rowena - and thank you. I don't know, lakeviewer.... I sure need it, WW! Maybe you're right, Rachel!

SicilyGuide said...

Best of luck! This is an intense post. Not quite sure if I got the all story behind it. Love yourself more!

fullet said...

Best wishes, Pat!

Sean Jeating said...

How to cut this
short, dear Lady Limoncello?
Perhaps these two lines will do? :
[...] for each beginning bears a special magic/ that nurtures living and bestows protection. [...]

Gosh! All those doubts.
Forget! ... Just let love be.

... All this - which easily could have become more ... to tell that my thoughts are with you.
And thus, by varying my saw:
The peace of love.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Thank you, Sicily Guide. I'm trying! Thank you, fullet. You are right, Sean. Thank you.

italytutto said...

We're all wishing you much peace and happiness regardless of how things turn out. You take care now.

Dragonstar said...

Certainly yout heart talking - it seems to know what you want ;)

Wiahing ypu all the best.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Thank you, italytutto and Dragonstar. You are both very kind.

Claude said...

My thoughts are with you. All the best. Always!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Thank you, Claude. I appreciate it. x

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