"You had better leave your impeccable English manners at home if you want to be a social success in Italy. Half tones will not take you even half way; understatements are taken at even less than their face value. If you are deeply worried about something , it is no good remarking softly, 'I'm a little peturbed.' If, on the contrary, you run about the room berserk, beat the walls with your fists, froth at the mouth, turn purple and scream for half an hour then people may gather that you are slightly irritated though not annoyed."
- Thus wrote George Mikes in Italy for Beginners in 1956.I was just strolling along the street with Simi, wondering what to post about this evening, when I witnessed the most magnificent argument about a parking space: My neighbour, Mr N... was arriving home in his car and the car in front of him was about to manoeuvre into Mr N's personal parking space. Mr N beeped and made a "No, no" gesture. The other driver made frantic hand signals and pointed to the nearby ATM that he wanted to use. There ensued a lot of shouting and gesticulating , with the would-be parking space usurper marching over to Mr N and asking what was the matter with him - anybody could see he only wanted to park there for a minute to get some money, to which Mr N responded loudly that this was HIS parking space, he'd had a hard day and all he wanted to do was park and go to his apartment. [The other guy could have withdrawn his money and driven to the next town in the time that this took.] Meanwhile, all the other traffic in the street had come to a standstill and Simi and I just stood and watched [ along with many others, including several shopkeepers who had come outside to see the fun]. We couldn't have passed the two cars and we couldn't use the pavement either, as it is being repaired. Finally Mr N threw his hands in the air and uttered "Pazienza" to himself, the other driver ran to the ATM and got his money and at last there was movement again in the street.
Half a century on from George Mikes the English no longer have "impeccable manners" and probably the whole episode would have ended in a "road rage" punch-up in Britain these days. But here it all ended in smiles, thanks and even a handshake!
On Saturday I'll have been here two years and I still occasionally forget myself and indulge in the odd British understatement. Mikes is right about that: here people will take it literally or, as he says, at "less than its face value."
20 comments:
We could learn some lessons from the Sicilians. Especially about saying what we mean.
the whole episode would have ended in a "road rage" punch-up in Britain these days.
If it would have been in America, it would have ended in a shoot-out.
Nothing changes the whole world over !!!
Yes, we are not good at saying what we mean in Britain, Liz. Steve, I suppose it would have - that never occurred to me.
You know what really helped shove the English's road-manners downhill? It was a documentary over 10 years ago now ... called Road Rage. EVER SINCE that came out I've seen endless altercations about the most trivial of motoring incidents. Seriously, that, to me, bears powerful witness to the sheer humungous power of the mass media. They showed bad behaviour as normal and - hey presto - almost immediately it truly WAS normal!
I found you actually hopping through various Australian blogs. This is a lovely site you've got here!
I'm at http://gledwood2.blogspot.com
btw if you want to come by you're most welcome.
See you later perhaps -
All the best
from
Gledwood "Vol 2" ...
Where does Welshcakes come into it by the way? I used to eat them when I was younger. We called them "pics" or "picau". Well yummy!!
All's well that ends well, by the sounds of that mild melee. How good it would be if others followed suit. Road rage is becoming a real problem these days. People have so little patience. They let stress take control rather than take a step back, a deep breath, put a smile on their face...things turn out better that way.
An addendum....Happy Two Year Anniversary for Sicilian Saturday, Welsh. :)
An addendum....Happy Two Year Anniversary for Sicilian Saturday, Welsh. :)
Oh, I think I'll fit right in !!! I just need to learn the language. I've advanced to lesson #2...
Well Mike's suggested behaviour would not work very well for Englishmen in Italy as I imagine the Italians would think they were crazy. But even a small difference of opinion or problem between two Italians turns into what sounds like World War III to a non Italian. But as you say, it all often ends with no particular hard feelings.
regards
jmb
The French say what they mean.
But they have no manners either.
Sometimes, I hear the Sicilians go a little far in saying what they mean.
Or have I just been watching the Godfather too many times?
Car parking rows are the biggest cause for disputes wherever you are, people feel so territotiral about their personal space. I can't imagine the Sicilians bottling up their true feelings.
Hi, Shani. Yep! Nice to meet you, Gledwood and thank you for your kind words. I remember that documentary, too - life imitates art. Coming over to visit you later.
Oh, just that I'm Welsh, Gledwood and I couldn't think of anything else to call myself!
Hi, Lee. I didn't realise you had a road rage problem over there, too. Thanks for your good wishes for tomorrow - I appreciate it. Well done, pinkacorn. I'm sure you'll fit in, too! Hi, jmb. Yes, the Itals probably would think someone who acted like that was mad. But Mikes still makes me smile, after all these years.
Never forget that understatement, Welshcakes. It is always the better alternative, in my book.
James, I agree. Understatement can de-escalate a possibly very angry situation.
In New York i dare say.. it would have become violent! I so want to move from here!
M
Crushed, maybe a little far sometimes! M, is it really that violent there? where would you like to move to? I know you were thinking of California or even Sicily at one time.
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