MEDIA MENTIONS

 It's been a while since I mentioned my book, A Place Called Siracusa, and I have just realised that we are approaching the end of the year, so I thought I would tell you about a mention of it in the daily newspaper La Sicilia back in May. For those of you who read Italian, here is the link to the story online.

I am still working on the file to put the book on Amazon (I'm sorry it is taking longer than I anticipated) and I hope I'll be able to do this by the end of the year. I will keep you posted.

This week I received another media mention, this time about this blog and it appears in issue 92 of the British magazine for women who write, Mslexia. I always look forward to reading Mslexia, as it encourages me to keep going and it was in fact this magazine which inspired me to begin blogging, back in 2006. Therefore it is a great pleasure to see my blog featured in it. 

I'm going to get back to that file now!

IN WHICH I GIVE UP!

Over the years, I have tried my best - I really have - to promote, whenever possible, a positive image of Sicily, to reassure readers that it is a safe and lovely place to visit and, above all, to dispel the stereotypes. Italy, however, is even better than Britain at shooting itself in the foot and the latest instance of this is the app distributed to accredited foreign journalists for next month's G7 summit in Taormina. This is the opening image of the app., which has been approved by the Italian government:

Not the Greek theatre in Taormina, the azure-violet sea that surrounds the island, the majesty of Etna, Sicilian food or wine or, as La Sicilia's editorial remarked this morning, Sicilian fishermen saving migrants in the Mediterranean but this, which to me looks, at best, like a Dolce & Gabbana fashion show gone wrong. Are we in the 1950s? What does this say about women and what does it say, for that matter, about Sicilian men in the 21st century? So much for former Prime Minister Renzi's announcement in October that this would be "a G7 characterised by themes concerning education, culture and Italian and Sicilian identity". 

The objections are being voiced thick and fast on social media, as they should be, and President of the Sicilian Regional Assembly Giovanni Ardizzone has announced that he is writing today to Prime Minister Gentiloni to demand that the image be withdrawn.

Italy, I give up!

Update - 12.4.17:  The offending image has been removed from the app., I am glad to say.

BREXIT - A VIEW FROM ITALY [2]

Most of my regular readers will know that I view Brexit as a disaster and I explained why on the night of the referendum. I have to say that my spirits have not risen regarding the matter since then and I have spent the past few days in shock and disbelief at what the UK Prime Minister said in her "Brexit Plan" speech on Tuesday.

What, though, is the general view in Italy?  We all know that members of the European Parliament- with a few exceptions including one notable British one - are fuming but reactions within Italy have generally been calmer than those in many other EU countries. But then, the Italians have not yet been insulted by Mr. Johnson. 

To say that the Prime Minister's speech went down well here would, however, be overstaing the case and the threatening tone she used towards the end of it did her no favours. Il Giornale di Sicilia asked how the UK can expect to enjoy free trade with the EU post-Brexit but not contribute to the EU budget and commenters on the article ranged from those who called us selfish and wanted us "chucked out now" to those who congratulated us upon "freeing" ourselves.

Several papers highlighted the fact that work permits are likely to be necessary for Italians working in Britain post-Brexit and it is ironic that this comes from a country that still demands documentation which should not be necessary under European law for non-Italian EU residents here. 

La Repubblica reported that we are going for "hard Brexit" and will therefore be "out of everything". Il Sole 24 Ore called our insistence on border control and withdrawal from the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice the "British Maginot Line" and I empathise with the incredulity implied - freedom of movement of people is, after all, one of the founding principles of the EU and we signed up to the organisation in full knowledge of that.

Alessandro Barbera, writing in La Stampa yesterday and referring to Mrs May's Davos speech [she's having a busy week!] asks how we can close our borders and, at the same time, claim to be a champion of free trade. He suggests that Mrs May, "the new Iron Lady", dreams of a "global Britain" but would rather it wasn't too global. Spot on, I'd say!

Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni has been measured in his comments, welcoming a commitment from May to cooperate militarily with the EU [made prior to Tuesday's speech and I can find no details as to the extent of such cooperation] and saying that Italy would discuss the issues with Britain in a spirit of solidarity and friendship.

Meanwhile Italian Foreign Minister Angelino Alfano said, while Mrs May was speaking on Tuesday, that the Italian government will defend the interests of Italians living and working in the UK. Now wouldn't it be nice if the "new Iron Lady" showed such concern for British citizens living and working in other EU countries?  

THE ALTRUISM OF COOKS

I've always thought that most cooks are naturally helpful and unselfish, willing, as they are, to share their recipes at the drop of a cranberry and to give tips and encouragement to others. But last Friday, on Bakeoff Italia - Dolci in Forno, we saw a quite extraordinary example:

In this seventh episode of the fourth series, the contestants who had already been eliminated from the contest were invited back for a cookoff in which one of them could be reinstated. They had to make the ever-exacting Ernst Knam's seven-layered torta extreme and the twist was that the contestants still in the competition, not the show's resident judges - Knam, Clelia d'Onofrio and Antonio Lamberto Martino  - would do the  blind tasting. Then the two best cakes would undergo scrutiny from the resident judges. The cakes chosen were baked by contestants called Annalisa and Stefania but neither seemed very happy. After a few minutes, we learnt why; they both felt that there was another cake on the table which was better than theirs and that their peers had made a mistake in their tasting. Obviously, in pointing this out, they had sacrificed their own chances of being allowed back into the competition. Presenter Benedetta Parodi asked the resident judges to taste all the other cakes, which they did, and they agreed with Stefania and Annalisa that the best cake had been baked by a contestant called Bartolomeo.

How nice to see such altruism in a reality TV show!

You can watch the episode here until 31.1.17.

TEMPTATION

I do not normally make rash promises but I think it is safe to say that this is my last Ferragosto -moaning post of the year.  [For those of you who are not regular readers, the period around the 15th August holiday drives me insane, because virtually every place I want to go to is closed, in some cases for weeks on end.]

It came to my attention that the Giornale di Sicilia is holding a photographic competition on the theme of "Summer in Sicily" and, had I taken the photo below this summer instead of a few years ago, I would have been tempted to enter it. The photo shows two bars and a rosticceria, all closed for at least two weeks [and one of them for a month]. That pretty well sums up the Ferragosto state of affairs, even in 2016.

However, it would have been very mean of me, wouldn't it?

For those of you who are interested, the competition is on Instagram and the closing date for photos is 21st September. The hashtags are:

#estateinsicilia2016
#gdscontest
#igerssicilia

A selection of the photos will be published in the 26th September edition of the Giornale di Sicilia and yes, I will be buying it, for I'm sure they will all be beautiful.

SOLIDARI-TEA, SICILIAN STYLE

In Britain and around the world, if you are a BBC Radio 4 fan it cannot have escaped your notice that a domestic abuse story has been running on the radio programme The Archers for some time now, gripping [and often exasperating] many. This week is "trial week" in the story and, in order to express their support for the character Helen and other victims of domestic abuse, listeners have been invited to share photos of themselves drinking tea, using the hashtag #soldaritea , on twitter. 

I have never been a victim of domestic abuse but I do know a little of what it is like to have someone play with your mind and lead you to doubt your own sanity. Recently the offence of "controlling and coercive behaviour" has been added to the Statute Book in Britain and this should mean that sufferers like Helen in The Archers will have more recourse to justice.  

So, I raise my glass of iced tea with a dash of Sicilian granita to you and all who suffer the effects of this heinous crime, Helen:

THE EAGLE IS BRANDED

I do not often refer to the British Daily Mail on this blog, nor do I often write about sport, neither being favourites of mine, so tonight is a little different. 

You see, those eagle-eyed journos at the Mail have ranked what they consider to be the 20 best football badges in the world and Palermo has the honour of coming seventh. It is a pretty badge, I think, though carino is probably not the first word that comes to the mind of those hunks when they don their team shirts.  [I will not risk posting a picture of the badge here for copyright reasons but it's on the Mail page - they've got more money than me to cope if they get sued - and, of course, the club one.]

The two other Italian clubs listed are Juventus in fourth place and Roma in twentieth. And the winner is...?  São Paulo. Take a look and see what you think. There is also a link on the page to the newspaper's ranking of the worst badges - I'll leave you to decide if you can face that!

TOWERING COMPETITION

At the beginning of April I wrote that Sambuca di Sicilia in Agrigento Province had, in a TV poll, been named the most beautiful village in Italy, much to the consternation of the inhabitants of Cervo [Liguria], whose beauty I am able to vouch for.

The towers of  San Gimignano

Three weeks after this announcement, however. the Spanish newspaper El País ran its own poll and named San Gimignano in Tuscany as the most beautiful borgo in Italy. I have been to San Gimignano two or three times and it is certainly impressive but I would say it is more majestic than pretty. It also has a torture museum which caused me several sleepless nights after my last visit!

Not having been to Sambuca di Sicilia - a state of affairs I hope to put right in the near future - I couldn't say which of the three villages is the loveliest but the competition, like the Sicilian weather, seems to be hotting up.

Me in San Gimignano in the 1970s - sorry about the fashion!

San Gimignano has been the setting of, or has featured in, several well-known films, notably Tea with Mussolini in 1999:

SUMMER SHAME

"What will it take", I have often asked in my migration posts,"for the rest of the world to notice what has been happening in the Mediterranean?"  The answer in April was an appalling tragedy and now that the crisis has spread to the land in other parts of Europe, it has taken a heart-breaking image to wake the world up

Looking at reactions to the crisis in my own country, I must admit that I have despaired over the past week and have been wondering just when we lost our ability to empathise. As a country the British have often made grave errors but we have also often done "the right thing" instinctively rather than waiting to be shamed into it, as our Prime Minister was today. I have hesitated to make the following point because I do not want to be accused of taking a cheap shot but after today's events I feel I must: David Cameron is a man who knows the pain of losing a child so it should not have taken a whole 24 hours for him to react to the image that has so profoundly shaken those he claims to represent. As even his own Members of Parliament began to criticise him earlier today, did he wait for his spin doctors to tell him what to do? 

I am well aware that, as one who no longer lives in the UK, I coud be accused of not really having my finger on its pulse any more but I do pay taxes there, still have voting rights and I care very much what happens to my country and how it is seen internationally. But more than that I care about its humanity.

Meanwhile in the Sicilian Channel 838 people were saved yesterday and were brought to Pozzallo this evening. This morning a further 105 were saved by the Italian Coast Guard off the coast of Libya. Premier Renzi of Italy and  Prime Minister Joseph Muscat of Malta were right to remind the world, in a joint press conference this evening, that the publication of images such as the one that has upset us all is an almost weekly occurence in their two countries. Premier Renzi also had this to say:

"Europe must not just be moved - as some leaders are more than others; it must act."

Count your blessings if your children have been playing safely in the sea today.

SUMMER SORROW - 4

At the end of yet another week of migration tragedies, I have to admit that I do not know what to say. I had hoped, you see, that once the desperate situation that I have been writing about for nine years finally came to the world's attention, migrants would be helped and that we would see an end to the perilous journeys they feel compelled to make. I did not anticipate an end to their coming, but an end to deaths on migrant routes. Instead, more and more people are dying and attutudes are hardening in several parts of the world. 

Last weekend Italian and other operatives in the Mediterranean saved 4,700 people and on Wednesday alone, in ten Italian Coast Guard operations, 3,000 people were rescued. However, Wednesday was also the day on which a Swedish ship rescued 439 migrants from an overcrowded boat but found 52 bodies in the hold. The arrival of these bodies in the Port of Palermo late last night was another sad sight of a type that we have, I am afraid, become used to in Sicily. Italian police said tonight that survivors have told them that migrants trying to get out of the hold to access water and air were held back at knifepoint by the people traffickers in charge of the boat. In addition, this afternoon the BBC started to report that hundreds of deaths are feared after two boats capsized off Libya earlier. 

Other reports tonight say that the number of bodies found in a lorry in Austria has risen to 71 and that four of these poor souls were children. It is also being reported that UK police have arrested 27 migrants found on an Italian lorry in the County of Surrey. [The driver was also arrested but later released.] Meanwhile Hungary builds a barbed wire fence and security in Calais is still being increased. Suspected people traffickers continue to be arrested in all the receiving countries but the basic problem, which is that people are literally running for their lives, is not being addressed.

To cries of,  "They only come to Britain for the benefits" I would say that few people would put their lives in such obvious danger for a few hand-outs after a bureaucratic process. Besides, would you rather live in a country that people want to come to or one that people flee?

Mrs Merkel, a lady I have not often praised in these posts, braved booing crowds this week to condemn racism and attacks on asylum seekers and later in the week she and President Hollande called for a faster and more unified EU response to the situation. Could it be that these two leaders have woken up or was the statement prompted by the fact that Germany is taking in more asylum seekers than any other country in the EU? Italian Foreign Minister Paolo Gentiloni saw the statement as grounds for cautious hope, so perhaps we should, too.

You may have noticed that I have used the word "people" instead of "migrants" several times in this post for, as Al Jazeera English pointed out a few days ago, the term "migrant" is fast becoming pejorative. This set me thinking, for language, of course, matters. When I first started writing about the crossings to Sicily, I used the term that the Italian media used at the time, which was clandestini. Sometimes I used my own unsatisfactory coinage, "would-be illegal immigrants" because they were not illegal immigrants if they were arrested and sent back, as they often were. Over the past few years I have dropped the term clandestini, as has the Italian media, in my case because the term had a negative connotation and because there is nothing "clandestine" about braving the Mediterranean Sea in an inadequate, open boat. I despair when the media talk about the migrant "burden", as Sky News did last night in an otherwise insightful report, as until we start seeing refugees as human beings with the same aspirations as ourselves, there is no hope - for them or for us.

ANOTHER MENTION

For those of you who read Italian, my post about tourist attractions in Modica being closed for Ferragosto has attracted the attention of the Corriere di Ragusa:

Thanks for the mention, guys!

"MASTERCHEF" IN TWO COUNTRIES

As regular readers will know, I have enjoyed all three series of MasterChef Italia and have written about the programme several times, the most recent post being this one.

It had been a long time since I'd watched MasterChef UK but this year - thanks to the wonders of technology -  I managed it and what a series it has been! Last night's episode from Barcelona was a joy to watch and tonight's final kept everyone guessing until the very last minute. For those of you who are not in the UK, the deserving winner was this lady.

I must say I found the series very refreshing and calm after the noise and clamour of the Italian version! That is not to imply that the contestants do not work flat out in the UK version, because they do. They just don't let their inner panic show and, although a few tears of relief and exhaustion are not unheard of at the end of particularly challenging rounds, emotion is largely contained.

The British contestants do not argue with the judges, make bitchy or near-racist remarks about each other, clap themselves or sulk and, strangely enough, the programme's twitter commenters do not generally tweet their observations about the contestants' or judges' appearance or clothes [and here I must confess that I couldn't help asking where Spanish guest judge Christian Escribà got his spectacles last night]. It would also be hard to imagine the UK judges throwing dishes they don't like across the studio, à la Joe Bastianich.

From watching the series, I have learnt that in my own country there is a fashion for "deconstructing" classic dishes, a concept which would be incomprehensible to an Italian, to whom a tiramisù, for instance, is a tiramisù and if it is deconstructed, it is something, or several things, else. The British cooks, inspired by some of their country's top chefs, also have a penchant for precariously leaning one piece of food against another, creating dishes with at least seventeen component parts [ or "throwing too much at a plate", as a series catchphrase goes] and for serving  dishes which consist of just one piece of pasta - beautifully filled, admittedly, but horrifying to an Italian cook.

On this programme, no one can pronounce pistacchio, bruschetta or gnocchi and chefs and voice-over lady alike have trouble with the concept that pasta types are plural.

But what has really surprised me is the extent to which the British chefs use their bare hands during the cooking process and in "plating up". [Incidentally , the Italian equivalent of this word, impiattare, has just entered the dictionary.] They even use their hands to press down food that is in a hot pan and there is never a catering glove in sight! Yes, I know you have to use your bare hands sometimes and my own mother used to say, "A good cook uses her hands" but there are some limits! I suppose this has struck me because Italians are very fussy about not touching food with their hands, especially when they're eating in public. If you are served a croissant with jam in a bar, for instance, it won't come on a plate with a knife and a little pot of jam; the jam will have been injected in and the croissant will be part-wrapped in a paper napkin  so that you don't have to touch it with your hands. The only exception to this "no hands" rule is, of course, pizza. 

Anyway, the British series is over for another year and I'm wondering who I can fall in love with now that lovely, knowledgeable chef John Torode and Cockney charmer Gregg Wallace will not be popping up on my screen on Wednesday - Friday nights. During the Italian series, you may remember, I was rather taken with Italy's "sexy chef" Carlo Cracco and I did start watching his Hell's Kitchen Italia series. I stopped, however, after an episode in which two teams of contestants were taken to a farm to "catch" the animals for the food they were to prepare. I do eat meat and that means I have to accept that animals are killed to feed me but I don't have to watch people making a game of it.

I have one suggestion for John, Gregg and the MasterChef UK team - next year, why not bring the contestants to Modica, the chocolate town?

IF YOU'VE A MINUTE....

If you have a few moments around 11.30 am BST or 12.30 Italian time next Tuesday, 22nd April and can tune into BBC Radio 4,  you will learn a lot about a very beautiful Welsh song and a certain "Welsh woman living in Sicily" may say a word or two!  The episode will also become available, for a while, on the Soul Music programme website. 

BBC Radio 4 [known as the "Home Service" when I was a child] has, for as long as I can remember, formed the background to my life and I missed it desperately when I first came to Sicily, before you could listen live on the internet. I'm excited to feature in a Radio 4 programme, even for a few seconds and I'll tell you more after the broadcast!

THURSDAY, THURSDAY

I've mentioned before that I'm not fond of Thursdays, partly because Thursday is not Friday and partly because it's - well, Thursday. I also think the BBC is to blame for my aversion as, when I was a child, the Watch with Mother schedule ran thus: Mondays - Picture Book, which was sometimes interesting; Tuesdays - Andy Pandy, which at least had the virtue of a loveable teddy bear; Wednesdays - The Flower Pot Men, which only children could understand; Thursdays - Rag, Tag and Bobtail, a hedgehog, a mouse and a rabbit who were as dull as can be; and Friday - The Woodentops, which I loved, mainly because the programme featured "the very biggest spotty dog you ever did see." So there you have it - Rag, Tag and Bobtail spoiled Thursdays for me for evermore and the only duller thing I've seen on television was the much hyped live announcement of the winner of last week's Masterchef Italia final - also on a Thursday.

As regular readers will know, Masterchef Italia has, for three years, been a programme which I have followed avidly and there were some great episodes in this third series. Rachida from Morocco and lovely 67-year-old Alberto from Cremona were eliminated a couple of weeks ago and the semi-finalists were the worthy and non-temperamental Enrica, Almo of the glowing shoes - I have several times had to put my sunglasses on when there have been full-length shots of Almo - and Federico, an analytical and serious torinese doctor, who deservedly won the title.

It has been fun, too, watching the three judges - Carlo Cracco the "sexy chef" [who actually writes extremely good cookbooks], Bruno Barbieri, whose jackets and glasses stunned viewers week after week, and the entertaining and unpredictable Joe Bastianich, whose best trick was to throw dishes he disapproved of across the studio. Fun, that is, until the final went live when, awaiting Almo and Federico in a packed studio, the three were obviously at a loss as to how to fill the agonisingly long minutes. As one tweeter pointed out, they are, after all, chefs rather than professional anchormen and it was all a bit much for them. Even when the two finalists arrived, Cracco played the suspense for all it was worth and, along with several million others, I had started to wonder if he'd ever put us out of our misery by reading out the name. "Please don't go live again!" begged tweeters all over Italy and eventually Sky Uno staff had to admit that the idea had been a mistake.

But now it is all over and here I am on Thursday evening wondering what to do with myself: Junior Masterchef Italia starts tonight and two of the judges are Bruno Barbieri and Joe's mum Lidia Bastianich. [Presumably the producers believe that the audience would not tolerate Joe chucking around dishes created by children.] However, I'm not sure I'm up to the rigours of following such a contest, so roll on, Masterchef Italia 4 and the return of chef Cracco - on Thursdays again if you can manage it, please, Sky.

Masterchef Italia logo - Wikipedia Italia

"A FORGOTTEN VILLAGE"

Do you ever wonder how talk show presenters prepare their programmes? You might think that they would read everything they can about people they are going to interview, bone up on geographical locations that are going to feature or, at the very least, make sure they are well-briefed by people who can do this for them. 

Miss Barbara d'Urso, the presenter of the Sunday afternoon programme Domenica Live on Canale 5, appears to have done none of these things this week and has caused a Sicilian storm by referring to Siracusa as "a forgotten village in southern Italy" whilst interviewing the teacher who arranged a school concert to welcome new Premier Matteo Renzi to the city.

Siracusa: 2,700 years old, the birthplace of Archimedes and the most important city in Magna Graecia. Siracusa: UNESCO World Heritage Site. The city has a Greek amphitheatre to rival those in Greece itself and classical plays are performed there to this day. It also has a Roman amphitheatre and Cicero described Siracusa as "the greatest and most beautiful" of Greek cities.  

Teatro greco, Siracusa being prepared for the performance of a Greek play

Mayor of Siracusa Giancarlo Garozzo is understandably appalled and points out that the city is ranked fourth in Italy [after Rome, Venice and Florence] for its artistic and architectural heritage. He also thinks that Miss d'Urso should have glanced at Wikipedia before the programme went on air. This morning his administration sent a written protest to Mediaset [Silvio Berlusconi's group of television channels, which includes Canale 5]. Both the city council and the tourist board are now likely to invite Miss d'Urso to visit the city. 

Ironically Miss d'Urso is from Naples and changed her name from Maria Carmela - judged "too southern" by her bosses at Tele Milano, a precursor of Canale 5 - to Barbara in 1977. What a pity she didn't change her reading habits too.

CORN DOGS AND COLOURS

MasterChef Italia logo - Wikipedia Italia

Thursday night, as I mentioned at New Year, is teley night in this household and I sit for two hours glued to MasterChef Italia with the programme's twitter hashtag column open on my computer so that I can join in the commenting as it progresses. Sometimes the twitter stream goes so fast that you can't read the comments or even "catch" one to read and I follow the programme's facebook updates at the same time but all in all I thoroughly enjoy the multimedia experience.

I also enjoy, as many of you will remember, the comments of Messrs Joe Bastianich, Bruno Barbieri and Italy's "sexy chef" Carlo Cracco and they have certainly delivered a few surprises during this series! The series has produced some very interesting characters among the contestants, too and the one I like best is a 68-year-old gentleman from Cremona, Alberto. Alberto, it was clear from the first episode, likes the ladies and the ladies, including this one, like him, to the extent that there is quite a battle for his heart taking place on twitter! Another character is a Moroccan lady called Rachida who has not yet managed to get through an episode without crying and who has whole teams of supporters and detractors on social media. I'm not quite sure which camp I belong in yet and change my mind at least twice during each programme but on the whole I think I'm pro-Rachida.

Last night's episode was the best yet, in my opinion and was particularly interesting for me because it again showed how suspicious Italians are of any food that is not their own.  American chef Graham Elliott - whose name was strangely pronounced throughout the programme as "Gram" - showed us the menu he had cooked in his Chicago restaurant for President Obama's birthday in 2010 and then the contestant who had won the previous test had to choose which of these she and her rivals would cook. By this time the twitter stream was full of comments like, "But do they know what they're eating, these Americans?" and when "Gram" showed us his lobster corn dogs, explaining that they're a bit like hot dogs, only fried, it went wild as viewers all over Italy expressed their horror. [Believe me, the discussion was much more animated than on any election night!] I thought the funniest was when someone tweeted a photo of a worried-looking Obama, one hand pressed to his temple, with the comment that the President must have been remembering what he ate at "Gram's" place.  Fortunately, perhaps, the contestants ended up cooking a corn bisque.

Later, the contestants were taken to the Caserma Santa Barbara, home of the Milan Polo Club, for the outdoor, team challenge, in which each team had to cook a set menu for the spectators, who afterwards voted for the better team. Judge Joe Bastianich got the job of interviewing and looking after the spectators and seemed fascinated by the ladies' hats [as well he might have been, for I was fascinated by his!] "Of course, the polo's best at Engadina", one elegant lady told him, provoking a torrent of sarcastic twitter comments. One man, like me, just wanted to know where the hell it was and now a Google search has revealed to me that it's in St Moritz. [A girl needs to know these things.]

Alas, the team led by my beloved Alberto lost this week, so the poor man had to do the "pressure test", which involved cooking a perfect aubergine parmigiana in 15 minutes. When he presented his dish for judgement, he was asked why a man of his age wanted to win MasterChef when he'd already lived his life. Why would he want a life-changing experience now? I don't like the implication, often made in my own country too, that in trying to live life to the full, the old are somehow robbing the young of opportunities, so I was on the edge of my seat as Alberto replied,

"We always have something inside, although we grow old. To continue to express ourselves or to dream. Because dreams are in colour and I want everything to still be in colour, until I die."

Not a dry eye in the house or on the twitter stream and Alberto is through to the next round!

Congratulations, Sky Uno and MasterChef Italia, on a great episode.

MIGRATION UPDATE - "IN A CIVILISED COUNTRY"

I am very sorry to have to report tonight that migrants in the "welcome" or "reception" or "detention" - depending on how you perceive it - centre on Lampedusa appear to be suffering inhumane treatment there: Mobile phone footage shot by a Syrian detainee on 13th December shows nude, cold migrants queueing in the courtyard in order to undergo a disinfestation treatment for scabies.

The migrants say that they caught scabies in the detention centre and that they are made to undergo the disinfestation treatment every week. Corriere della Sera is reporting that some survivors of the 3rd October tragedy were among the migrants subjected to the procedure.

The pictures, shown on Tg2 [Italy's Rai 2 news] last night, have caused a national outcry: President of the Chamber of Deputies Laura Boldrini has said that the images are unworthy of a civilised country and Interior Minister and Deputy Prime Minister Angelino Alfano has vowed to find out who is responsible for the outrage. Giusy Nicolini, the Mayor of Lampedusa, is said to have been appalled by the images, which she has likened to those taken in concentration camps, and has said that the way in which migrants are treated once they reach Italy must change. "This is not what we expect barely two months after all the promises made following the October tragedy", she added.  The Archbissop of Agrigento, monsignor Francesco Montenegro, who is also president of the Commission for Migration of the Conferenza Episcopale Italiana, has said that no emergency situation can justify treatment which ignores human dignity and rights.

The Comitato 3 ottobre agrees with Laura Boldrini and is asking for clarification of the procedures used in migrant detention centres. Amnesty International and Cgil, Italy and Europe's largest trade union, are also asking for urgent clarification. I would like to point out that Laura Boldrini had the humility to thank Tg2 for bringing the situation to the nation's attention. In our criticism of Italy over this matter, we should remember that there are many parliaments in the world which would have lashed out at the media.

SAYS IT ALL

And now, back to the stylish Italy that we love. For those of you who have not already seen it, this says it all:

Fiat Commercial - "The British / Italians are coming!"

Be honest: Who would you rather be invaded by?

SIGH IN THE SKY

I pride myself on being at my cantankerous British best whenever a Sky Italia employee calls, usually at the most inconvenient of times, to offer me a sports package and the conversation often runs like this:

Me: Sorry, but I hate sport.
Sky lady:  What, all of it?
Me: Yes.
Sky lady: But don't you want to see some of it? Didn't you want to watch the Olympics in your own country last year?
Me [for I have to grudgingly admit that even I was teary over the Olympics]: Yes, but I watched them very well on Rai, thank you.
Hapless Sky lady [the idea that you might live alone and dislike sport being too much for an Italian]: Well, isn't there anyone else in your house who likes sport? There must be!
Me: No, I'm afraid not. My dog's not interested in sport either!
Sky lady [despairing]: Allora, buona sera, signora.

But if I am the despair of the Sky sales team, I must admit that Sky often get their revenge - as they did two years ago when they cut the BBC Entertainment channel, for instance, and as they do these days every two months when they send out their bills: There I am after a hard day in the whiteboard jungle, unwinding by watching some inane repeat documentary about British royals, when all of a sudden, a message flashes onto the screen, accusing me of not having paid my bill. What bill? I haven't received one!

Angrily, I rush to the phone and when, after much sleep-inducing music and numerous useless messages, I actually get to speak to a real, live person, I am told that the bills have been sent out but that they must be delayed in the post. That, surely, is Sky's problem to resolve and, as they admit it is happening to everyone, I cannot understand why they do not do just that. Last month, the guy in billing said he was telling everyone to go to the tobacconist's or other Sisal [lotto outlet with a bill-paying facility] shop a few days before the bill is due, ask the shopkeeper to key in their client number on the lottomatica machine and lo and behold, the amount due would show. That's fine, but what about people who cannot get to a Sisal shop or do not have time to do so?  When I went to the tobacconist's to follow this advice on Friday, he told me that everyone who pays their Sky bill in cash has the same problem -  namely, that the bill arrives two weeks after the final date for paying it - and that they are all heartily fed up with Sky, who then add an extra charge!

Come on, Sky Italia: you have brought us HD, "My Sky" and have managed to incorporate Italian digitale terrestre channels into your little box, so surely it is not beyond you to change your private postal service and get the bills to your customers on time?

GNOME KIDDING

Those of you who know my politics will be surprised to read that I have achieved 15 gnomoseconds of fame in the expat section of the Torygraph and, for those of you who do not hail from Blighty's shores, I should explain that the Telegraph newspaper has this nickname because of its tendency to support the British Conservative party.

Anyway, on the May Day bank holiday I was mucking about on twitter, as is my wont, when I saw a tweet from @TelegraphExpat asking for pictures of garden gnomes belonging to expats. I sent them [the Telegraph people, not the gnomes] a  tweet asking if balcony gnomes counted and a nice lady replied that they definitely did, so I sent her this picture of Pierre gnome and his pals:

I explained that Pierre is from Cardiff, like me and that the dust on him is from Etna. That information found its way into the caption and, although it is true, I only added it because I wasn't feeling energetic or balcony-proud enough to dust Pierre before taking the picture.

Pierre and his little gang are very pleased with themselves but Simi the dog is somewhat miffed at not being in on the act!

The whole gnome gallery is here.