SIGH IN THE SKY

I pride myself on being at my cantankerous British best whenever a Sky Italia employee calls, usually at the most inconvenient of times, to offer me a sports package and the conversation often runs like this:

Me: Sorry, but I hate sport.
Sky lady:  What, all of it?
Me: Yes.
Sky lady: But don't you want to see some of it? Didn't you want to watch the Olympics in your own country last year?
Me [for I have to grudgingly admit that even I was teary over the Olympics]: Yes, but I watched them very well on Rai, thank you.
Hapless Sky lady [the idea that you might live alone and dislike sport being too much for an Italian]: Well, isn't there anyone else in your house who likes sport? There must be!
Me: No, I'm afraid not. My dog's not interested in sport either!
Sky lady [despairing]: Allora, buona sera, signora.

But if I am the despair of the Sky sales team, I must admit that Sky often get their revenge - as they did two years ago when they cut the BBC Entertainment channel, for instance, and as they do these days every two months when they send out their bills: There I am after a hard day in the whiteboard jungle, unwinding by watching some inane repeat documentary about British royals, when all of a sudden, a message flashes onto the screen, accusing me of not having paid my bill. What bill? I haven't received one!

Angrily, I rush to the phone and when, after much sleep-inducing music and numerous useless messages, I actually get to speak to a real, live person, I am told that the bills have been sent out but that they must be delayed in the post. That, surely, is Sky's problem to resolve and, as they admit it is happening to everyone, I cannot understand why they do not do just that. Last month, the guy in billing said he was telling everyone to go to the tobacconist's or other Sisal [lotto outlet with a bill-paying facility] shop a few days before the bill is due, ask the shopkeeper to key in their client number on the lottomatica machine and lo and behold, the amount due would show. That's fine, but what about people who cannot get to a Sisal shop or do not have time to do so?  When I went to the tobacconist's to follow this advice on Friday, he told me that everyone who pays their Sky bill in cash has the same problem -  namely, that the bill arrives two weeks after the final date for paying it - and that they are all heartily fed up with Sky, who then add an extra charge!

Come on, Sky Italia: you have brought us HD, "My Sky" and have managed to incorporate Italian digitale terrestre channels into your little box, so surely it is not beyond you to change your private postal service and get the bills to your customers on time?