Thursday, October 26, 2006


I wrote some time ago that I fully expected some of the friendships I had forged here in Sicily to change when I came to live here, simply because being "the resident" is very different from being "the visitor". Yet this has only happened, so far, in one case. Surprisingly [to me, at any rate] it is some of my friendships in Britain which have changed or ended and I was very aware of this when I was there last week and found myself having to "prioritise" my friendships.

Pettiness aside, are the people who don't bother to write, put a European stamp on and post their Xmas cards to Italy a few days earlier than those destined for UK addresses really friends? And in these days of emails and texts there is little excuse for not staying in touch; you can always write a quick line to explain how busy you are! A friendship, by definition, cannot be one-sided so one of the people involved in it cannot go on indefinitely making all the effort. Therefore I have had to admit to myself that some of my British friendships are past their sell-by date.

This hurts in any circumstances, but particularly when you are away from your own country, and it probably hurts more when you do not have a family, as your friends are likely to mean more to you. It is, perhaps, something for which you should mentally prepare yourself if you are thinking of moving abroad. It is not a tragedy, but it is a kind of "loss", at a time when you are having to cope with so many other changes - no one who hasn't done it can imagine what it is really like, as people tend to see only the positive side - and could do with a little moral support from the place you used to call "home".

Gosh, I am melancholy today! It's all because of the non-appearance of that darn water lorry!


Anonymous said...

I've got some friends I only hear from at Christmas, but I like to think I can call on them in different parts of the country and would be given a warm welcome.

In fact, I'm surprised they are not keen to remain your friend so they can come and visit you and have a lovely holiday together. I can't believe they are not interested in your new life and experiences, your adventures and mishaps, like the water problem.

I really enjoy hearing about your life, and apprecite your comments, even though you are not Conservative. Your friends back in the UK don't know what they are missing, it's their loss.

Irene said...

True and lasting friendships are in reality difficult to find. I'd rather have one real friend than a hundred fake ones.

Enjoying your blog. Keep at it! c",)

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Hi, Ellee. Thank you for your kind comment. I think it's just that people get wrapped up in their own lives and it's "out of sight, out of mind". I do still have some very good friends in the UK!
Hi, Irene. You are right. Thank you for the encouragement.

Maria said...

Well you have a friend in me... and i agree... friendships be it with family or friends... can really be harsh. Time is the true test.. who is there.. ~M be well and nose kisses to the pup... i don't want him to feel left out! lol


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