Sitting on the Altro Posto's terrace at lunchtime my attention was drawn, not for the first time, to an elderly gentleman who sits himself down there for half an hour or so to have a rest, a cigarette and a glance at the comings and goings. Then he picks up his walking stick and continues [with surprising speed!] on his way. In winter, he sits inside. He never partakes of anything and nobody ever questions this. And he is not the only elderly or not quite so swift of foot person I have seen do this at various eateries here. I wonder how long you could sit inside or outside a bar or restaurant in the UK before being curtly told that you have to order something?
Now, I'm not quite sure why this is connected, but in my mind, it is: one of the matters Irma and I discussed over lunch the other day was the care of the elderly or terminally ill in Italy. Irma has a 90-year-old aunt who is today being fitted with a pacemaker. Nobody suggests that the lady is "too weak" or that "It might not be worth it", as might happen in the UK. As Irma says, "Whatever else doesn't work well in Italy, a life is a life and is valued." This does lead to tragic cases like that of Piergiorgio Welby, which regular readers will remember, but it also means that this and this could never happen in Italy. And there is certainly no postcode lottery regarding healthcare.
Where do I stand? I think these matters are incredibly difficult and often the circumstances are harder for the patient's family than the patient. I also know that I wouldn't have wanted my mother to suffer or linger longer once her mind had disintegrated to the extent that it did - and she wouldn't have wanted it herself. Yet I am rather glad to be living in a country where, if I make it into old age, I am not going to enter hospital in fear of a "Do not resuscitate" notice being put on my notes even if all my faculties are functioning.
20 comments:
England is hateful towards the old Ms Limoncello...
Look at the number of old-age peoples homes in the UK. Mediteranean culture is best for the elderly
I think the Italians and the Greeks take care of their elderley much better than many other countries,my own included. No one seems to have the time to bother with their elderly parents or relatives these days, and yet, by being this way, miss out on learning so much...so much wisdom is wasted because people just can't be bothered and won't take the time.
Jeremy is right, family culture is different in Mediterranean households... and, as I'm discovering, in Mexican and Latin American households. Sending an elderly parent to a nursing home isn't even an option-- they live with their children.
It is great that the elderly are valued in Italy. Often treatment is just based on numbers. For example here they don't do certain surgeries on people over 80 because most of them are in bad shape. But not all, so look at the person not the age before you decide.
I always thought Britain had all thes e systems in place to help the sick and elderly. I can see I am wrong.
Complimenti per l'ottima idea!
More and more Germans are turning to taking care of their elders instead of having them live in a home. I think the main reason is financial.
My greatest fear of dying in hospital is these new propsals that you have to opt out of having your organs taken, rather than opt in. Mind you, I don't suppose I'll make old bones...
Not so much of the "old" there, Mutley! JJ, you are absolutely right. The "casa di cura" is the last resort here. Lee, I agree. even though, as a family, we looked after my grandpa and great aunt, there is so much I'd like to ask them about now! That's interesting, Ruthie. Can you tell us more about the situation in Latin American countries and Mexico? You could post about it? Jmb, we used to have it sorted in Britain but now the health service is just overwhelmed and it all depends where you live [unless you were the Queen Mother]. Grazie, Moticanus. Lei è la prima persona di Modica che abbia commentato sul mio sito! Mi piace il suo blog e vorrei mettere qui il suo link - va bene? Steve, do Germans get any state help if they look after their elderly themselves? I'm interested in the situation across Europe. Crushed, you will! You'll live to be a cantankerous and still entertaining old "Crushed"!
They do it better in some countries.
For one thing, in England he'd be told to put out the @#$ cigarrette :)
They do indeed, James. LN, he isn't allowed to smoke when he sots inside. Italy has had the smoking ban for, I think, 3 years now and, surprisingly in a country where more people smoke than in the UK, it is pretty well respected.
The problem is that families are so spread out today;there isn't the support of an extended family available to help nurse an elderly member of the family. When my daughters father-in-law was very ill at his home in Italy,the front door would open one of the neighbours came in, sat down beside his bed, and looked after his needs for a little while and then leave just as quietly. This was normal for his family.
Marymary, you are right: that and the fact that most women work now (though not here) and that modern life is so busy. Families here are not so spread out and that helps and of course they are big families, so the duties can be shared. It is easy to say you would always look after someone with Alzheimer's but there comes a time when you just can't - and it's heartbreaking for all concerned.
As we all live longer these days, the problem will increase. Now, look, I've called it a problem, when it should be simply a ... what?
We had an old down and out man coming into the Community Cafe. He'd just have a cup of tea and sit for ages. We'd give him a cake as well. And then he'd complain! But that was what the community cafe was for: the community as opposed to making money.
P.S. I think Mutley is missing a comma, Ms Limoncello!
Healthcare even in the US is not what it should be. I am happy to hear that in Italy a life means something..
Here it seems the almight dollar means more!
Pure rubish all of it! Healthcare should be looked at as a whole through out the world. It is terribly sad that in this day and age... there are people suffering because they can't afford proper care! Very frustrating!
All the best!
M
Liz, your community café sounds just what it ought to be - poor old chap; probably just lonely. I never thought about that comma! I agrre, M : in this day and age no one should be suffering because they can't afford the health care they need.
Vedo solo adesso la richiesta di inserire il mio link. Certamente ne sarei felice. Ogni tanto passo anch'io di qua!!! A presto!
Ciao, Moticanus. Sono contenta di vederla qui! Aggiungerò il suo link .
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