CHANGING FRIENDSHIPS

I wrote some time ago that I fully expected some of the friendships I had forged here in Sicily to change when I came to live here, simply because being "the resident" is very different from being "the visitor". Yet this has only happened, so far, in one case. Surprisingly [to me, at any rate] it is some of my friendships in Britain which have changed or ended and I was very aware of this when I was there last week and found myself having to "prioritise" my friendships.

Pettiness aside, are the people who don't bother to write, put a European stamp on and post their Xmas cards to Italy a few days earlier than those destined for UK addresses really friends? And in these days of emails and texts there is little excuse for not staying in touch; you can always write a quick line to explain how busy you are! A friendship, by definition, cannot be one-sided so one of the people involved in it cannot go on indefinitely making all the effort. Therefore I have had to admit to myself that some of my British friendships are past their sell-by date.

This hurts in any circumstances, but particularly when you are away from your own country, and it probably hurts more when you do not have a family, as your friends are likely to mean more to you. It is, perhaps, something for which you should mentally prepare yourself if you are thinking of moving abroad. It is not a tragedy, but it is a kind of "loss", at a time when you are having to cope with so many other changes - no one who hasn't done it can imagine what it is really like, as people tend to see only the positive side - and could do with a little moral support from the place you used to call "home".

Gosh, I am melancholy today! It's all because of the non-appearance of that darn water lorry!