Tuesday, January 24, 2012

NOT MY IDEA OF PILLOW TALK

You didn't expect me to get close enough
to take a decent photo, did you?

There I was, almost ready for bed at around 1 am this morning when I glanced at the pillow and - eeeeeek! - there was this creature making itself comfortable.  All right, I know it's not big, by spider standards, but it's a tarantula to me!

At first, standing well back, I tried to persuade it to just go away and, when it took no notice, wondered if perhaps it would appreciate being spoken to in Sicilian dialect . Alas, my invocation to "Avattinni a cògghiri cardi" =  "Go and pick cardoons" fell on deaf spider ears - or hairs- and by 2 am I was a desperate woman.

At that time of night in a flat in Italy, you can't use the vacuum cleaner tube, try to frighten the creature with noise or even scream for fear of disturbing the neighbours, so I'm standing there, still starkers, trying to work out what to do when I realise my pyjamas are under the pillow! This is not the only pair of pyjamas I own but I was too freaked out to remember that at the time. Having what I thought was a brainwave, I managed to pull them out from under the pillow under the spider with a walking stick but this caused the spider to move and then I didn't know if it was in the pyjamas or not.  Finally  I remembered the other pyjamas and decided to don them as if ever a situation required clothes, this was it!

Being thus attired seemed to make me braver and next, I fetched my oven gloves and proceeded to strip the bed because no way was I lying down on it if spiderman or woman was still there.  Still with the gloves on, I lifted the mattress several times to look under it but there was no sign of  signor/a ragno there either.  Now only the pillow cases remained to be examined inside so I poked about in them with the walking stick and managed to slip them off using this, too - because I had to change them, didn't I?  I mean, could you sleep on a pillow case where this creepiest of creepy crawlies had made itself at home?

By 3.30 am I just had to lie down but I kept the light on and did not close my eyes for a minute, knowing that our unwelcome guest was probably still in the room. Then, suddenly at 4 am there it was under the bookcase - I might have respected it had it been exploring some books -  but it  escaped yet again.   By this time Simi the dog, who had slept through most of the drama, had begun to take an interest and, once she was on the bed too, I felt safer so nodded off uneasily. We woke up to bright sun but I'm afraid the Italian proverb, "Se il ragno fa il filato, il bel tempo è assicurato - If the spider is spinning its web, you can be sure of fine weather"was no comfort to me at all!

Doris Day - Pillow Talk

10 comments:

Leslie: said...

To me, that is so funny! I would have got some tissue and scooped him up, squeezing as I flushed him down the toilet. However, others (like my 2 daughters) would have been screaming blue murder while jumping up and down. At least you kept your cool. Congratulations for that, Pat! LOL

rochambeau said...

So sorry for your uninvited guest. That goodness Simi the wonderful was on duty (at least for a few hours)! My husband did get a spider bite recently while asleep and it wasn't nice, so I'm glad you are alright Patrizia!!

xox
Constance

CherryPie said...

There is now way I could feel safe until the spider had been found and removed from the vacinity...

sally in norfolk said...

So glad I am not frightened of creepy crawlies .... x

Jan Pag said...

Yuk - I have respect for them - they eat flies which i don't like, but they move too fast and quietly for my liking. I use a glass and stiff piece of paper to capture them without touching and them drop them out of the bathroom window - so they probably die anyway! A friend sprays them with hairspray until they are stiff and then removes them with paper - ingenious!
Just imagine your fly-free bedroom courtesy of Mr or Ms Spider.....

Lucia said...

You and my daughter are the same, cannot sleep unless spider is removed!!! I just get on with it. I grab a shoe a towel anything and squish it to death and then dispose of it. She can get to sleep as well as I. She used to sleep with netting around her bed. When we took it off she was aprehensive about bedtime but she's better now. It's not like we live in Costa Rica or anything! Yes I see a bug, I just go Rambo! But believe me the heart is pumping a mile a minute...lol.

Jenny Woolf said...

I was quite relieved to find it was a spider, actually - they don't creep me out at all. But bed bugs - oh, that really would freak me!

You can see I am not much of an entomologist, not knowing the diference between a bed bug and a spider
:D

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Hi, Leslie. Well, I did intend to scoop him up, using the oven glove but he moved too fast! I wouldn't say I kept my cool but I didn't scream! Thanks, Constance. Yes, Simi calmed me down! OMG, a spider bite! Glad I'm not the only one, Cherie! You are lucky, Sally. Hi, Jan Pag. Even imagining a fly-free bedroom doesn't make me want to tolerate the thing! Hi, Lucia. You don't fancy flying over to deal with him, do you?! Hi, Jenny. That would freak me even more!

elleeseymour said...

I remember that happening to me once and a spider the size of a dinner plate scuttled off under under my bed, so I slept in the spare room that night.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Goodness, Ellee - I'd have had to go to a hotel!

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