Saturday, July 16, 2011

A HEARTFELT LETTER TO MY BANK

Dear Sirs,

I write to inform you that I, too, have far too much stress in my life [much of it caused by yourselves] to be able to pass a “stress test” and that,  like the eight European banks that failed the stress tests on Friday, I do not have “at least 5% core tier 1 capital”.  I have no idea what this may be but am absolutely sure I do not have it as I do not have any capital at all.

Therefore I feel that I, too, would benefit from a meeting with the top political representatives of my two countries, namely Messrs Cameron and Berlusconi – on second thoughts, perhaps we had better leave Mr Berlusconi out of it – so that they can urgently advise me on how to raise 2.5 billion euros against the “adverse scenarios” that are sure to befall me in the near future.

I look forward to your help in arranging this and to your earliest, favourable reply.

Yours faithfully,

Patricia Micawber

The Young Ones - Letter to the Bank Manager

9 comments:

jams o donnell said...

Excellent! I hope you charged the bank £50 for writing the letter too!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

I'll get on to that now, jams!

Patricia said...

Just remember that stressed spelled backwards is "desserts!" Pass the gelato!

Merisi said...

*giggles*
(Well, pardon me, I know I should cry, really!)


I love your profile! ;-)

Saretta said...

I like the comment about desserts! Much better to focus on desserts than to get too stressed! :-)

Claude said...

Well said. In Canada, if you send the letter "Care of my Government", at least you don't have to pay for the stamp.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

I'll remember that, Patricia! Hi, Merisi. I think all we can do is laugh because it is all so absurd. Thank you. I agree, Saretta. What a good idea, Claude.

Winchester whisperer said...

Very good!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Thank you, WW.

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