In Italy, and in Sicily in particular, food is taken very seriously, as we saw in the "stock cube in the caponata" affair. It is not, however, taken so seriously that we cannot laugh about it and today I was looking at the facebook page on which people continue to voice their horror at the idea of putting a stock cube in this classic Sicilian dish, ironically post photos of dishes they've made "without a cube" or just joke about it. I particularly like the photo of cannoli "without a cube" and the one in which a woman making cassata siciliana says she will put a stock cube wherever the f*** she likes. Then there is the je suis caponata image and you do wonder how poor old caponata feels about being catapulted into the headlines just when it least expected it. You wonder, too, whether it is appropriate to adapt a hashtag that had its origin in such tragic circumstances, but I'm sure the Charlie Hebdo catoonists would be among the first to say that it is. As dado also means "dice", I take my hat off to the person who posted a photo of caponata with a dice in it! If you'd like a look, the page is here.
Italians share with the British an ability to laugh at themselves and this was evident earlier this week on twitter, when a certain extremist group or their sympathisers threatened to invade Rome. Italians reacted with "travel tips", among which I liked, "Don't come today - there's another transport strike" and "Don't use the ringroad - there are traffic jams". "Is it to update your wardrobe?" was a bit cattier but my favourite was, "Is it because you've run out of Nutella?"
The British might have promised to "fight them on the beaches" but Italians responded with humour, which may turn out to be an effective weapon.
"Gli avari e coloro che non hanno niente da offrire, infatti, non ridono. - The miserly and those who have nothing to offer do not laugh."
We all get nervous when speaking in public so let us be kind to poor Davide Tripiedi, a Movimento 5 Stelle politician who, when he stood up to speak in the Camera dei Deputati yesterday, began by announcing that he intended to be "brief and circumcised" instead of "brief and concise". He was corrected by the Deputy Speaker, who informed him that "that is another thing" and, though momentarily embarrassed, Mr Tripiedi apologised, smiled and continued with his speech. I rather think he made the Chamber a more interesting place for a few minutes!
Thank you, Corriere della Sera:
OK, own up: who's got a bidet? What do you think of them and do you use them? And who, among the Brits, does not have a friend who thinks these contraptions are for washing your feet?
Italians, of course, love their bidets and 97% of households have them. Portugal and France are second and third in the European bidet-ownership table.
Much indignation, therefore, was expressed yesterday when it was reported that Italy had received a €50,000 fine from the EU for not obeying a directive to remove bidets from public and private premises because the installations waste both water and space.
I remember a student of mine being horrified, a few years ago, when I told her that the British do not have bidets installed in their bathrooms as a matter of course. "How", she cried, "do you wash yourselves down there?!" "In the bath or the shower", I replied, causing her to sigh at this further proof of Anglo-Saxon ineptitude with regard to our private parts and I could see that she was beginning to worry about me. "What if you need to do it quickly?" she continued. "You can't have a shower five times a day!" I said there were ways.
Given the amount and variety of "intimate" gels, wipes and deodorants on sale in Italy, you would never imagine that Italians used the bidet quite so often, but there you are:
Paisi ca vai, usanzi che trovi - Places you go to, customs that you find.
Sicilian proverb
Popular politician and Mayor of Florence Matteo Renzi was reported to have said that the removal of the bidet was a first step to a Europe united by matters other than money and Lega Nord politician Roberto Calderoli that Italy's Celts weren't worried because they could wash themselves in the [aptly named] Po.
Alas, it was all a joke which began with an item on the satirical site AnsIapress but we enjoyed it while it lasted. I haven't seen my Sicilian friends so indignant since a set of traffic lights appeared at a busy Modican junction some years ago. The offending lights were regarded as an infringement of Modicans' civil liberties and, unlike the island's bidets, were soon removed.
"Bisogna adunque essere golpe a conoscere e lacci, e lione a sbigottire e lupi."
"It is nescessary, therefore, to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves."
- Niccolò Machiavelli: Il Principe
It's been a great week for British humour - unless, that is, you happen to be a Windsor - and it's set me thinking about the differences between Italian and British humour.
Unless you've been living on Mars, you'll know all about the Prince Harry pictures and there have been some headlines and puns worthy of the Bard himself in the British press. Many Brits have taken Harry to their hearts, regarding him as a bit of a "Jack the lad" who can at least make us laugh and a lot of the menfolk envy him. Then there is the view that this is a young man who is a serving soldier and if he wants to let off steam in this way on a private holiday, so what? I can agree with this up to a point but would add that it is not his soldier's salary that allows the young prince to stay in hotel rooms costing £5,000 per night. You could counter by arguing that he comes from a wealthy family so must have been using his own money and a response to that would depend on your attitude to inherited wealth and privilege. Either way, the prince's security detail are paid for by the British taxpayer so it's not a clear-cut matter of a "private" holiday, as it might have been had the matter involved some vacuous celebrity.
My Italian friends were surprised when I mentioned the security aspects of the affair as this had not occurred to them and some genuinely thought that the British press [until the "Sun" published the pictures] were "afraid" of the Queen. "Not the Queen but a possible new privacy law", said I and a discussion ensued in which the prince's capers were compared with those of Mr Berlusconi. The Italians felt that the Berlusconi scandals were worse as he held political office whilst I argued that the difference was that Italians could, if they wished, have voted Mr Berlusconi out [I stopped myself from adding, "But you didn't"] whereas it would take more than the franchise to oust the Windsors.
Italians do get the joke, though and have been giggling along with the rest of us at the facebook pictures of naked soldiers covering up their private parts in ever more ingenious ways as they salute one of their own. A great deal of Italian humour, you see, is pretty ribald and it is considered quite in order to ridicule a man's virility. On the Saturday and Sunday night chat show Che tempo che fa, genial host Fabio Fazio exchanges banter with comic Luciana Littizetto, who also treats us to a genuinely funny and ironic commentary on the week's news. Then there will be a little innuendo before la Littizetto tells us that "The only hard thing about Fabio is his knee" or some other such detail which the Italian audience finds hilarious.
I actually rather like la Littizetto, who in February will make a pleasant change from the Belen and Canalis type of glamour girl when she co-presents the Sanremo Song Festival with Fabio Fazio. That is to say, I like her until the moment when she curls up, legs askew, on Fabio's desk and starts sticking her chewing gum under it. This is mainly because I have an inborn antipathy to naturally thin women who can curl up on a desk, especially when they also have naturally thin legs. La Littizetto, when she is not being small and cute, can look just like a neighbour with whom you would compare prices at the supermarket - indeed she plays one in a TV advertisement - and that is part of her charm. She can act, too.
Che tempo che fa, 19.2.12 - Luciana Littizetto's take on the news [including Sanremo and Belen Rodriguez]
Italians, like the British, have the ability to be self-deprecating and laugh at themselves. [How else could they have put up with some of their awful politicians for so long?] They can also be extremely ironic and the example that comes to mind is that of Mariastella Gelmini, Minister of Education in the last Berlusconi government. Not a popular figure with many teachers and students because of swathing cuts she had made in expenditure on education, in September last year the unfortunate Minister made a gaffe for which she will probably be remembered long after her policies are forgotten: referring to the Abruzzo Gran Sasso Laboratory, where neutrinos that travel at the speed of light were recorded, she said that Italy had contributed to the building of a tunnel between the Gran Sasso and CERN in Switzerland. Any such tunnel would have had to be 750 km long and of course it didn't exist. The twitter feed filled up with tunnel jokes and the queries of worried parents who no longer felt that they could entrust the education of their precious offspring to one as uninformed as la Gelmini.
The Italian press loved the "Gelmini Tunnel" and it loved the Harry story this week but you know its journalists are perplexed by the British when they start referring to us as "i sudditi di Sua Maestà" ["Her Majesty's subjects"] and they were certainly perplexed by this week's lion story! If you are not from Britain, you may not know that campers near Clacton-on-Sea in Essex reported seeing a lion on the loose on Sunday night and people in the area were advised to stay indoors. As armed police and helicopters swarmed to the area, did my compatriots go into lockdown mode? No, they carried on much as usual and continued to go "down the pub". I couldn't help smiling as the landlady of the nearest pub was interviewed, saying she was "a bit worried" but that her customers were still coming. That's the kind of reaction that makes you strangely proud to be British! On this occasion , too, twitter came into its own: "Essex girl" and her companion "Essex man" are unflattering stereotypes in popular culture [better that you read about them here] so when, within minutes of the "lion" news breaking, a twitter account in the name of "Essex Lion" was opened, the tweeting party went on all night. This puzzled a lot of my Italian twitter friends and I reflected that, had a lion been on the prowl here, everybody would have barricaded themselves in [elegantly, with good food on the stove and packs of cards to pass the time, it must be said]. As the night wore on and Sunday merged into Monday I think someone must have called Moody's because the poor old lion was downgraded, first to a "big dog", then to a "wildcat" and finally, yesterday, to a domestic cat called "Teddy Bear". But the British are nothing if not stubborn, as many would-be invaders have found out, and as I write this on Wednesday night, there are still folk in Essex who are convinced they saw a lion despite the fact that the police called off their search yesterday morning.
In the Italian press we are "i sudditi di Sua Maestà" again.
Things have been rather sombre on Sicily Scene recently so in an attempt to cheer you all up, I am posting my entry for the wonderful Stan Carey'slimerick competition. Stan is an editor, linguist and writer so, not surprisingly, the poem has to be about language. Misuse of the apostrophe in general, but particularly in "its" irritates me no end but my Italian students, at least, have some excuse for their errors. They don't believe me when I tell them that many British people also make mistakes when writing "its" and that mostly they add the apostrophe where it is not needed rather than omitting it:
If you would like to join in the limerick fun, pop over to Stan's blog - you have until 23rd September - and you will learn a lot about language while you're there.
Here is my personal pick of last week's Italy Magazine articles:
The magazine is running a summer series about romantic films set in Italy and we feature a "golden oldie" and a newer film on alternate weeks. Last week was "golden oldie" week and I had the pleasure of being able to write about one of my own all-time favourites, Roman Holiday - the one in which Audrey Hepburn famously gets her hair cut "all off" by an initially reluctant Roman hairdresser and in which Gregory Peck falls for her but remains the perfect gentleman. [Sigh - where did they all go?]
For "blog of the week" we featured When I Was Your Age - A Memoir, Rosaria D'Ambrosio Williams's blog about her journey, as a young woman, from Italy to America and the people she left behind. Regular commenters here will know Rosaria as "lakeviewer".
One of the first Italian cookbooks I ever bought was Valentina Harris's Italian Regional Cookery and I still use it often so I was delighted when Valentina shared her delicious recipe for peaches in white wine with ice cream with Italy Magazine's readers. I'll definitely be making this soon!
For my "Patti Chiari" column I had fun putting together some of the idioms and turns of phrase in Sicilian dialect that I have learned since coming to live here. I hope you enjoy them, too.
Since starting to write for the mag, I've done a lot of research into the tragic Meredith Kercher case and have become interested in it. On Friday I summarised Amanda Knox's Oggi interview for our readers.
I've always been interested in the Medici so this was one of my favourite news stories of the week and this tale of a "wild goose chase" has to be the other.
This is an article of mine that was published in Italy Magazine yesterday and I hope it makes you smile:
A pizzeria owner in Trento [Trentino-Alto Adige], tired of having to have the front door of his premises repaired, has placed the following notice in his window:
“Dear respected thieves,
If you think you will find money here which will improve the quality of your lives – which we doubt – please try to enter by the back door. [We are fed up with repairing the front one.]”
Altin Plaku told the local newspaper L’Adige that there have been six attempted break-ins in five years and that the thieves must think his premises are a bank.
Last Sunday night two men tried to force the front door with an axe but were spotted by a neighbour and fled.
To start the weekend on a lighter note, here is a short article of mine that was published in Italy Magazine yesterday:
Fifty or so town hall officials in Rome decided to protest against the slow bureaucratic process of the city’s 2010 budget by pulling their trousers down on Monday.
They carried banners saying that the city’s Mayor, Gianni Alemanno, of Mr Berlusconi’s Pdl Party, had “reduced them to their underwear”. Other banners criticised the abandoned state of parks and public gardens and blamed the number of homeless people in Rome on the current administration.
The workers suspect that the budget is being delayed because it contains unpopular taxes. They are concerned because no new projects can begin without the release of the 2010 budget funds.
Quite why the officials thought their “show a leg” protest would be effective is anyone’s guess. But hey, it got the photographers round!
This is an article of mine that was published in Italy Magazine today:
British football hero David Beckham was just telling an Italian reporter how nice the people of Milan had been to him when all of a sudden his genitalia were grabbed by Elena Di Cioccio, star of the comedy and reportage TV show “Le Iene” [“The Hyenas”].
Di Cioccio had reminded her TV audience that Beckham had been the – er – organ of Armani underwear advertisements until recently when he was replaced by Cristiano Ronaldo. She said that she wanted to find out for herself whether Beckham really was well endowed in that area and joked that his wife, Victoria, had compared her husband’s reproductive anatomy to an exhaust pipe.
Then a glove-clad Di Cioccio went in search of her prey. Beckham looked surprised and puzzled when the deed was done – as well he might – and was quickly hustled away by his security men. Di Cioccio ran after Beckham’s car, shouting,
“È piccolo, David! Ci hai presi in giro!” [“It’s small, David! You’ve been kidding us!” ]
A security man who seemed to be rather amused stopped Di Cioccio from reaching the car.
British newspapers reporting the story on Thursday night are expressing outrage.
What do you think - outrage or a bit of fun? And if the assailant had been a man and the target a woman?
There are so many wonderful seasonal posts out there but tonight I want to tell you about two that made me laugh a lot and also draw your attention to two that are, quite simply, lessons in courage.
Fullet's post about the Catalan "shitting log" tradition first had me worried, then fascinated and finally roaring with laughter. I recommend it, especially if you have the post -Christmas blues.
The Devonshire Dumpling's self-deprecating humour over at NoClue always cheers me up and her eclectic tales of Christmas goings-on down in deepest Devonshire are first class. I particularly liked her "It's Been Sunday for the last 10 Days" post and her follow-up today is a gem. Thank you for the gong too, DD, even if it is aimed directly at my head!
My friend Maria from across the pond was a very sad lady this time last year but if anyone is living proof that we can bounce back after seemingly insurmountable difficulties, it is Maria. The path back that she has chosen would not be mine but I admire her for finding it in the tangled jungle of this life and I am so happy for her. Maria has been a loyal follower of this blog from the beginning and I want to thank her for that, too. Do take a look at her new blog, Gratitude Café, the title of which reflects her positive attitude
Finally I can only urge you to read this post by Betty of Daydreamn World for she and her son, Reid, are examples to us all. My thoughts are with you both, Betty and I'm sure other readers here will join me in wishing Reid a full recovery in 2010.
I'm a sort-of retired language teacher from Cardiff, Wales, UK, now trying to make a new life in Sicily. I'm not growing vines, making olive oil or restoring a palace stone by stone!
