FISCAL TIFF

That's what I've been having with the local gas board who have sent me an early Christmas "present" in the form of a truly enormous domestic gas bill.

Admittedly I am not Sicilian enough to pride myself on not using the heating during the winter months but, quite apart from the fact that I actually think one's home should be comfortable, I do have asthma, arthritis and Raynaud's disease, all of which are aggravated by the cold. 

I've been a good girl and have paid my bimonthly gas bills upon their arrival all year so this extra one, for such a large amount, was a real shock.  I am told it is a conguaglio or "adjustment" and have spoken to several other people who have received similar unpleasant surprises. Even though the gas company has agreed to payment in three installments, it is still an almost impossible amount to find in addition to payment of the new gas bills which will continue to come.

This conguaglio is a scandal and, although Italy does not have as many competing energy companies as the UK, there are some. What we need here is a scheme like this one in Belgium and I might just start one.

IT'S IN THE CARDS

When I first arrived here, only one or two supermarkets issued loyalty cards but in the past few months Italy has gone loyalty-card-mad:

I have had some nice "gifts" using my supermarket points - sets of plates and saucepans, a cake knife that plays "Jingle Bells", a quilt, even a vacuum cleaner - but I can't keep up with all the new cards. I'm going to have to buy a bigger purse, not to keep my ever-dwindling cash in, but to find room for the cards - unless I take to keeping some up my sleeve!

Update:  One of the comments has prompted me to point out that "purse", in British English, is a wallet [for women] or small coin purse, not a handbag.

A HEARTFELT LETTER TO MY BANK

Dear Sirs,

I write to inform you that I, too, have far too much stress in my life [much of it caused by yourselves] to be able to pass a “stress test” and that,  like the eight European banks that failed the stress tests on Friday, I do not have “at least 5% core tier 1 capital”.  I have no idea what this may be but am absolutely sure I do not have it as I do not have any capital at all.

Therefore I feel that I, too, would benefit from a meeting with the top political representatives of my two countries, namely Messrs Cameron and Berlusconi – on second thoughts, perhaps we had better leave Mr Berlusconi out of it – so that they can urgently advise me on how to raise 2.5 billion euros against the “adverse scenarios” that are sure to befall me in the near future.

I look forward to your help in arranging this and to your earliest, favourable reply.

Yours faithfully,

Patricia Micawber

The Young Ones - Letter to the Bank Manager

THE ANSWER TO EUROZONE WOES?

Greece, Ireland and Portugal have received them, Spain may be next, Italy waits in the wings and I could do with one but no one has made any offers! I refer, of course, to bailouts.

But just a moment - maybe Sicily has the answer to the eurozone's woes:  If counting out minute amounts of money in gigantic denominations will make you feel better, if the thought of handing over some of your hard-earned cash in bureau de change commission renders you misty-eyed with nostalgia, if you are a eurozone finance minister in need of cheering up or you are not Christine Lagarde, or if, like me, you have simply lost all grip on financial reality, the Sicilian town of Siculiana in Agrigento Province is the place for you!  There, from now until the 30th September, you can make your purchases using the good old lira!

Patty Pravo - Mille lire al mese

ITALY MAGAZINE ROUND-UP - 13

Here is my personal pick of last week's Italy Magazine articles:

For my Patti Chiari column I wrote about our lovely Castello di Donnafugata in Ragusa Province.  This is not the Donnafugata mentioned in Il Gattopardo or the one in Marlene de Blasi's book!

Our blog of the week was Napoli Unplugged.  Do take a look at it because I am sure you will enjoy it as much as I do.

Our final summer romantic film set in Italy had to be a golden oldie so we looked at September Affair, a weepie with an improbable plot but great actors and a real tear-jerker of a theme song.

Italians, it seems, are rebelling against paying for supplementary services in hotels and, like me, many of them find minibar items to be overpriced.  Let's all rebel together!  In my opinion you can never have enough cookery books and here is one that I am determined to add to my collection, especially as the proceeds will go to the L'Aquila Earthquake Relief Fund.  My Dad [who was not religious] always said that if you wished to worship God, it made sense to do it among the most beautiful of His creations so I would love to see this tree cathedral near Bergamo. Finally, in the news section, we have two police tales:  the first made me chuckle and I loved this heartwarming story of a life saved by the swift actions of a blogger and the Catania police.  Let us hope that the young man concerned is receiving the help and support he needs now. 

I shall be participating in the Bloggers Unite World Suicide Prevention Day event tomorrow.

MOUNTAIN GIRL'S PHOTO CHALLENGE - MONEY

My blogger friend mountain girl [do check out her blog] has brought back her excellent weekly photo challenge and this time, I thought I'd join in.

This week's theme is "money" and, though my photo is not very original, it does give me the opportunity to share with you a vignette from yesterday:



Handing me my change from a 50 euro note, a shopkeeper apologised that it was all in 5 euro notes. "Ma così ha più soldi, signora", ["This way you have more money"], he observed. "Questa è una logica che mi piace", ["That's the type of logic I like"], said I.