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Saturday, July 16, 2011

A HEARTFELT LETTER TO MY BANK

Dear Sirs,

I write to inform you that I, too, have far too much stress in my life [much of it caused by yourselves] to be able to pass a “stress test” and that,  like the eight European banks that failed the stress tests on Friday, I do not have “at least 5% core tier 1 capital”.  I have no idea what this may be but am absolutely sure I do not have it as I do not have any capital at all.

Therefore I feel that I, too, would benefit from a meeting with the top political representatives of my two countries, namely Messrs Cameron and Berlusconi – on second thoughts, perhaps we had better leave Mr Berlusconi out of it – so that they can urgently advise me on how to raise 2.5 billion euros against the “adverse scenarios” that are sure to befall me in the near future.

I look forward to your help in arranging this and to your earliest, favourable reply.

Yours faithfully,

Patricia Micawber

The Young Ones - Letter to the Bank Manager

8 comments:

  1. Excellent! I hope you charged the bank £50 for writing the letter too!

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  2. I'll get on to that now, jams!

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  3. Just remember that stressed spelled backwards is "desserts!" Pass the gelato!

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  4. *giggles*
    (Well, pardon me, I know I should cry, really!)


    I love your profile! ;-)

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  5. I like the comment about desserts! Much better to focus on desserts than to get too stressed! :-)

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  6. Well said. In Canada, if you send the letter "Care of my Government", at least you don't have to pay for the stamp.

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  7. I'll remember that, Patricia! Hi, Merisi. I think all we can do is laugh because it is all so absurd. Thank you. I agree, Saretta. What a good idea, Claude.

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