A GENTLE WOMAN

I thought I'd post something happier about my Mum today, so here she is in the lovely Ligurian town of Alassio: It was 1984 and I was going through one of my less felicitous financial periods, so to cheer myself up, I started entering consumer slogan competitions. An Italian company had just brought out wine boxes containing enough for two glasses and slogans were invited which extolled the convenience of the invention:

"It's wine for two

with less ado"

I scribbled on the form, sent it off and forgot about it. You had to buy one of the wine boxes to enter and Mum thought this was a dreadful waste of money as I am a g and t, rather than a wine lady. Imagine my surprise when, two months later, a letter arrived informing me that I had won a two-week holiday for two in Alassio, plus spending money! "Who are you taking with you?" asked Mum. "You, of course", I replied. We danced around to Italian music that evening, for my Mum belonged to a generation that did not, as a matter of course, holiday abroad and she'd never thought she would see Italy! See it she did that year and she came to understand why I loved it.

After that I went in for slogan competitions in a big way, for I have never been a lady who does things by halves! I'd scour the supermarkets for the latest competition leaflets, bought the "Competitors' Journal" and bought the products whose labels you needed to enclose with your entries. [I did some very weird cooking in those days, using up all these foodstuffs which I would not normally buy!] I started winning to the extent that it became a standard joke in my school [a different one, where I was happier]. "Hello, Pat, what have you won today?" the Head would ask each morning. Among the items I won were:

a microwave

a case of Budweiser [which I sold to a neighbour, then bought some gin with the proceeds]

a set of Le Creuset pans which I have brought to Sicily with me

restaurant meals

concert tickets

designer jeans

£250 Habitat vouchers [with which I bought a smart desk which has also accompanied me to Sicily]

a hairdryer and "2 years' supply of lacquer"

- And those are just the items I can remember!

Sadly, this type of competition became harder to find during my last few years in Britain: it was all prize draws or "click and win" - no fun at all!

Incidentally, I never let Mum forget that she'd said buying that wine box was a "waste of money"!